I haven't updated this in a while.

At the moment I am finding university very very hard. Most of this is to do with the fact that I am not allowed to take my medication until after tuesday, when I have my Endoscopy. I'm quite stressed out about it as well. Part of it as well is that in general I'm struggling with Japanese. I do work very hard at it, but nothing is really sticking. Vocab is generally okay, though I have an issue where any time I feel underconfident, I know what I want to say in my head, but my mouth sticks together, and by the time I get my mouth to open, I have panicked and everything has left my mind. Not good when you are put on the spot in a language lesson. Kanji is an area that I am really struggling. I don't know whether my being left-handed has a bearing, but I can read the Kanji I am told to learn, but I can never remember the stroke order, or what they look like when it comes to write them. It doesn't come naturally to me, and I'm breaking my pens by going against the grain. I knew it was more difficult for a left-handed person to write Kanji, but to be honest I didn't think it would have that much of a bearing.
I'm tempted to force myself to write them with my right hand, my kanji is atrocious anyway, and I used to be ambidextrous once upon a time.

Another thing I learnt while looking it up online is that it is actually considered rude in Japan to hold your chopsticks with your left hand. So I will have to teach myself how to eat all over again. It is just like being in a second infancy!

I spoke to Weste Sensei about my concerns to do with Japanese, and he agreed with me that my Kanji was a bit of a problem, but that we have a midterm in week 8, and after that he will talk to me about it, depending on how well I do. In the first year of uni we just need to pass with 40% anyway, but even that will be a struggle. I have never had a problem with languages before so this has come as a bit of a shock. I just need to pass with the 40% this year, and if I can do that I will get my year abroad in Japan...and if it still hasn't "clicked" by then, I shall have to try and convince the english department to let me switch to a single honours degree, which I really don't want to do. If I fail my january exam, I'm basically screwed, unless English will have me then, and that is dependant on exceptional exam results.

I think English is going pretty well though. I've just handed in my first essay and I'm waiting for the marks.


We had our first proper anime society meeting last night. Apart from a few small problems it went pretty well. Thomas (my little brother) has been staying with me, so I brought him along too. We showed Fruits Basket, Full Metal Alchemist, Scrapped Princess and Azumanga Daio. Scrapped Princess was voted out though. I didn't get to go out to the social afterwards because I had to take Thomas home.

This week hasn't been great. Thing about medication is that it misleads you into thinking that you are actually ok. Then when you can no longer take it, you are unused to and not expecting the level of pain you actually feel. It gets worse every day. I get these burning shots of acid all the way into my chest, which makes it hard to breathe, and it hurts sooo much. I feel nauseous all the time, and yet hungry. Then I can actually feel a seperate, deep throbbing muscular pain in my stomach all the time. I took a day off at the beginning of the week but then I thought "I shouldn't do this" and I've turned up every day since, regardless of how bad I feel. I haven't taken much in though.

Also, this week Rosie (my housemate) really scared me by saying that she wants to drop out of uni and the house, and move back home. This is bad on so many levels. I understand her point of view and only want the best for her, but I don't want her to leave! She told me she felt really lonely up here, and I felt so bad. I haven't really been the best friend recently, I've been so wrapped up with worrying about my health and my immenant academic failure that I haven't really had much time for her, even though we live in the same house. But she is my friend, and I will miss her. Also, it would be so much hassle if she moved out, because I'd have to live with a stranger and we'd have to advertise, and be penalised by our landlord.

But here is the good, happy thing that's happened...Shaun is taking me to Dublin for our 3 year anniversary! We are going in my reading week, which is the week after next. It's for 3 nights and I am really really excited. We've never been away on a holiday before, and I could really do with a break right now. I am so lucky to have such a considerate boyfriend.

So I'm trying to think about that, rather than going into hospital. Bleh.

I'm currently reading Geisha, so I will post up my impressions of that soon, along with Norweigan wood. Oh and our culture lessons. I've neglected this blog somewhat. But for now, at 22.51, it's vocab learning for me. Such is the life of a Nihongo-Benkyoshi student (and yes, I'm aware that's probably not right).

ANOTHER PERSONAL ENTRY OF SORTS

It is midnight and I can't sleep. A bit strange really, considering I have had no sleep in the past 24 hours due to serious throwing up. I have a rather nasty tummy bug, and I spent the whole day in bed feeling rather sorry for myself.

The English side of my degree is running relatively smoothly, I know I don't write of it often on here, but it is fairly straightforward. Read a book a week, summarise it, look for some resemblance to a Freudian theory, read a couple of essays, sit in a lecture theatre and listen to a lecturer go on about it for an hour or so...yadda yadda ya. This week I have an essay question I have to answer, on top of my haystack workload, normally it would be nothing, but due to everything else, it feels like an ominous weight, because I doubt I will be able to give the question justice.

The Japanese side of my degree - *sigh*. One thing I will say is that if you are considering a Japanese degree don't expect it to be easy and don't expect to have a lot of free time. Those who have done it before are having a pretty easy ride so far, while I sit and do at least four hours a night revision. Today I sat in my bed for 8 hours straight, reorganising my notes into a legible form and forcing myself to learn vocabulary. I have a lot of Kanji I have to have learnt in time for the test we have every week on a Tuesday, and to be honest I haven't even started, I'm that behind. With all this work, I'm not even in the top half of the class. I'm just struggling to keep up. It's something like one third of the students doing Japanese either drop out or fail their January exams the first year, and although I'm finding it so hard, I'm determined that I will not be one of the people in that third. I will get to Japan, even if it kills me!

At the same time, even though my social life is pretty much non-existant (I haven't even seen my housemates in days) it is strangely fascinating and addictive to know that you are persevering with something and making headway.

Shaun has taken on all the chores more or less, he has to cook for me, otherwise I wouldn't eat or would just eat whatever I find to hand in the cupboard.

Interesting things in my life. Hmmm:

I saw Laputa: Castle in the Sky with the Anime Society on Thursday. I went in and sat with Denise and Sophie. At first the movie was a little slow, and the dubbing was woeful, but despite this I soon got into it, especially when they actually got to the floating island of Laputa. I loved the Robot with the birds, I just thought that was so cute! The message of man not being able to live on science alone was very astute as well, I think. But most off all, cute robots!

The blatent sexual references were hilarious though. The people who dubbed it must have been taking the Mick. Examples:
1. "I'm so glad you are a human and not some angel who fell from the sky"
2. "When you fell from the sky and I saw you, my heart skipped a beat"
3. The boy has become a man!" when Pazu disappears from between Dola's legs.
4. "Don't worry Shita. We can go all the way!" as they fall down the mine-shaft.
5. "When you came in the sky it made me excited"
6. "I would like to come and see your Yak" (Random Yak pops up on screen)
7. Silence...Silence..."Birds make me happy" (in the most depressed voice I've ever heard)...silence...silence

Afterwards I went to Japanic with a few of the others and had a few drinks. And now I'm events Secretary of the Society *Smile*

Tonight Shaun and I went for a drink at the Cafe place in Hyde Park. It is actually really nice in there, a case of making the best of what you have. It had cosy settee type things to sit on, with cushions and the whole place was lit by candles. Shaun had a Mocha and it came in a pretty glass.

MORE ON ETIC AND EMIC THOUGHT (From Modern Japanese Culture: The Insider View, Leith Morton (Oxford Press 2003)

(PP11) Sapier: "No two languages are ever sufficiently similar to be considered as representing the same social reality. The worlds in which different societies live are distinct worlds, not merely the same world with different labels attached".

There is the idea of the dual system in the Japanese language - that there are insider and outsider discourses. It is made up of a dominant system of meaning (PP18)


MINAMI HOROSHI

He wrote a study in 1980 called "Nihonjinron no keifu". He believed that language reflected the split between the body and mind, and therefore a lot of the Japanese culture could only be grasped through intense study of the language.


HAMAGUCHI

He wrote a study that said that "Japan is an outside in Country", the culture is formed from a socialisation process that reverses the ego formation mechanism of Western Societies, which are "inside-out". (Hamaguchi, 1998:311-16, The rediscovery of Japaneseness)

JAPANESE CULTURE LESSON

The fundamental difference between Western and Japanese cultures is basic ideas of Time and Space. In Western society we see time as a linear model, and therefore it becomes a measurable resource, a useful commodity. This is where the idea "Time is Money" comes from. But in Japan, influenced by Buddhism, the Japanese are more likely to see time as cyclical; where you can be born and re-born. The average Japanese person always lives in the present - a good example of this is the fact that promotions are determined by seniority within the company and not by initiative. However this assumption is now being challenged because the average Japanese businessman can be seen to be "Extratemporaneous" - able to switch between the western linear idea of time, and the Japanese cyclical view of time.

We also learnt that the Japanese have a very clear idea of self, and see themselves as unique from other societies. They believe that if you have not been born into a Japanese family, you are not Japanese. This is a contrast with how we feel about citizenship in the UK. A common theory of the Japanese is the idea of "Giri" as well; that all Japanese emphasise the group and see themselves as part of a group at all times. This of course has an implication on their behaviour as they always have to think about others...it can be traced back to the old ideas of confucianism in Japan. It is contrast to the West in that Western thinking and psychology is always concerned with the thinking of self as an individual.

In Japan things are changing. According to my lecturer, a lot of the Japanese no longer believe in economic growth and technology as a form of defining a cultural identity. There is also an increase in single lifestyles as it has become more acceptable to leave home, and there have been changes in employment systems to make it fairer for women. Also, it used to be the case that once you became an employee at a company you were there for life, and it shaped a large part of your identity. Nowadays however, this is no longer the case and less and less employees see themselves as being part of a company "family".

The question we have to ask ourselves as outsiders is that will we ever be able to completely understand the Japanese society? There are two lines of thought on this. One is Emic thinking - that only the Japanese will ever be able to understand the Japanese. The other is Etic - that foreigners can have a realm of understanding about Japanese culture.

RULES FOR WRITING KANJI (FROM A BASIC KANJI BOOK)

1. Every Kanji is the same size
2. You always write left to right
3. You write downwards instead of upwards
4. When there is a figure in a square that you have drawn, the line which closes the square is
drawn last.
5. When a stroke line passes through a square, draw that stroke last.
6. There are 3 ways to end a stroke: Stop, Stretch or Hook.

MORE VOCAB

Ima - now
-Ji - o'clock
Fun or Pun - Minute
Han - half
Nan Ji - What time?
Nan pun - What minute?
Gozen - A.M/ Morning
Gogo - P.M / Afternoon
Asa - Morning
Hiru - Daytime/noon
Ban - Evening/Night
Ototoi - The Day before yesterday
Kinou - Yesterday
Kyou - Today
Asate - The Day after tomorrow (thanks to anonymous for the correction!)

Kesa - This Morning
Konban - This evening/Tonight
Yasumi - Rest/holiday/day off
Hiruyasumi - Lunchtime
Maiasa - Every morning
Maiban - Every Night
Mainichi - Every day

Getsuyoubi - Monday
Kayoubi - Tuesday
Siuyoubi - Wednesday
Mokuyoubi - Thursday
Kinyoubi - Friday
Doyoubi - Saturday
Nichiyoubi - Sunday
Nan youbi - What day of the week?

Bangou - Number
Nan Ban - What number?
-Kara - From
~Made - Up to, or until
~To~ - And (Used to connect nouns)
Sochira - Your place
Taihendesure - That's tough isn't it? (used to express sympathy)
Kashikomarimashita - Certainly
Otoia wa seno bangou - The number being enquired about

JAPANESE VOCAB WORDS - WEEK 3


Donata desu ka - Who is this? (Polite)
Dare - Who is this? (Informal)
Igirisu Karakimashite, dozo Yoroshiku - I come from England, pleased to meet you
Watashi wa Christie desu - I am Christie
lie,...J'Arimasen...desu - No (enter wrong assumption here) isn't right. (Insert correct answer)
...-san wa ... desu ka - Question about a person

No means belonging to or from. It can be used to connect two nouns together. For example:
Daigoku no Gakusei (University Student)
Igirisu no Leeds (From Leeds, England)

Sai desu - ...Years old
Watashi wa Jukyusai desu - I am 19 years old

Kore - Near Speaker
Sore - Near Listener
Are - An item far from both the speaker and the listener

...wa....desu ka - Is this ... or ....?
Answers to this could be:
lie, J'Arimasen ... desu
lie, kore wa...desu


Koko - Here, this place
Soko - There, that place near you
Asoko - That place over there
Doko - Where? What Place?
Kochira - This way, this place (polite version of Koko)
Sochira - That way, that place near you
Achira - That way, that place over there
Kiyoushitsu - Classroom
Shokudou - Dining hall/Canteen
Jimusho - Office
Kaigishitsu - Conference room
Uketsuke - Reception desk
Robi - Lobby
Heya - Room
Toire - Toilet
Kaidan - Staircase
Erebeta - Elevator/lift
Esukashita - Escalator

Kuni - Country
Kaisha - Company
Uchi - House/Home
Denwa - Telephone
Kutsu - Shoes
Wain - Wine
Uriba - Department/Counter
Chika - Basement
Kai - -th floor
nan gai - What Floor?
Ikura - How much?
Hyaku - Hundred
Sen - Thousand
Man - Ten thousand

...misete kudasai - Please show me...
Ja - Well, then
Kudasai - Give me...Please

Okimasu - Get up/Wake up
Remasu - Sleep/Go to bed
Hatarakimasu - Work
Yasumimasu - Take a rest/Holiday
Benkyoushimasu - Study
Owarimasu - Finish

Depato - Department Store
Ginkou - Bank
Yuubinkiyoku - Post Office
Toshiyokan - Library
Bijutsukan - Art Mueseum

More tomorrow, sleepy Christie now...

Yesterday was Shauns 21st Birthday, but we were both still feeling slightly ill so we didn't do a lot. We went to town and did a little shopping, I have nothing that fits for winter so I bought a pink Ripcurl jumper, and a navy cord, lined coat with a furry eskimo hood from Topshop. I don't really have the money for any of it, I am so skint because I put half of my student loan this term into a savings account I can't touch until April, but otherwise I would freeze to death!

(However I can't really have any excuse for my one impulse purchase - a toy christmas stitch from the Disney Store: he has a little reindeer suit and everything! When you press his hand his nose lights up red and he hums "Jingle Bells"!)

From now on though, I shall have to live lean - 9p packets of noodles are nutritious right? I could do with losing a little more weight anyway...

...I put on a pound while I was ill, probably because as I was so bunged up with flu I couldn't move, let alone go to the gym.

Later on Shaun and I went out for dinner for his birthday, to a resteraunt near the Corn Exchange called Iguanas. It was this authentic South-American resteraunt; the atmosphere was pretty good, there was Latin music playing and it was dim but cheerful. I'm not a huge fan of Latin or Spanish food usually (it was Shaun's choice) but the food was beautiful overall. We decided to go all out and had three courses, mine being washed down with a fresh orange and passionfruit cooler, while Shaun had Brazilian Beer. My starter was a tortilla parcel filled with brie and fresh mango and it is one of the tastiest things I have ever had. I wasn't as impressed with my main course, of duck enchilada, although I could tell the ingredients were fresh...it was a lot spicier than my stomach can take, and I'm not sure that duck lends itself well to Spice. Shaun had some seafood thing in a bowl and it almost made me heave to look at it - it was like a floating graveyard of various dead things. Pudding was great - Shaun had the Ipanema mess (a very gay looking desert) and I had banoffee pie, with real soft homemade fudge. It was heaven.

Then we went home and watched End of Evangelion. The Evangelion series is very confusing to someone who isn't A) very sharp or B) Isn't clued up on their theology because I find that the series relied a lot on it's religious imagery. I'm not sure that I would have followed it half as well if I had been watching it on my own. Also, I didn't watch Death and Rebirth but I can't see how a series as complex as Neon Genesis Evangelion can be summarised into an hour long film. I won't talk about it in detail in case it spoils it for someone, but it is definately one to watch, but you have to concentrate to understand it. It has to be one of my favourite anime series now - though Fruits Basket and Full Moon are still undisputed favourites!

Quotes of the Day:

1. I picked out a book randomly from a shelf in a charity shop and the blurb started with something like "I lost my virginity at fourteen to a twenty-seven year old man" and I show it to Shaun. Shaun then points to the Boy George autobiography on the next shelf and goes "Isn't that the same book?"

2. We are in Headingly and we see that there are people collecting for the blind. I then notice that the people collecting, are in fact visually impaired and have white sticks and dogs.
I remark to Shaun "It's quite effective having them collecting money. I feel guilty walking past them and not giving money, don't you?"
Shaun says "Why? It's not as if they notice you, is it?'

3. We were walking home after the meal and there were three drunken homeless people at the "John Peel" memorial in Hyde Park. It looked from where we were standing that one of them was being forced to do a sexual act on another homeless person, and was emitting a loud long wail. I say to Shaun "Do you think they are being forced to do something?"
Shaun says thoughtfully "No. If I was sitting there, and thought "I wish I was at home now - wait, I have no home...I'd be crying too". I laughed all the way home.

Ok, I have a sick sense of humour.

A personal blog this time...

Well last week I went to Little Tokyo and had yet another great meal. Little Tokyo has to be my favourite resteraunt now, some may say that it is a little expensive but you definately get what you pay for. The most expensive meal on the menu is approximately £12.50, but that is a four course Bento Box, which I can never finish. This time I had Chicken Wheat Buck Soba; I was a little sceptical as to how they would make noodles taste exceptional, but once again I was proved wrong. Not only did I get marinated noodles, i also got a mountain of fresh oriental vegetables and Japanese mushrooms, with large lumps of fresh teriaki chicken at the bottom. This only cost me £6 and I almost couldn't finish it, the bowl was so large. Shaun had seafood Ramen and I almost gagged because it had baby octopus in it...that actually looked like baby octopus with eyes and everything!

Shaun ordered a Sake Bomber with his meal, and the waitress showed him how to do it. He got a glass of ice-cold Kirin, and a small cup of hot sake. You place two chopsticks on the top of the glass and balance the cup on top. You then bang the table so that the cup falls in and tips the sake into the beer. You then down it as quickly as possible. It really went to Shaun's head.

I've realised, now that I've been to the third anime society meeting, that I didn't even describe the second. I have to share the wonders of Hentai boy, with his stomach coming out of his t-shirt, and his loud piercing voice! (In fact I already think I've shared this story with half the members of the anime society!) Here are actual quotes from Hentai boy:
"I think it's great that so many girls have joined such an adult society!"
"I didn't know what anime was until it popped up on my screen and then I was like "Oh! So this is what anime is!" So much tits!!!"
I didn't see him this week though, so hopefully someone set him straight.

This week was actually pretty good. The University screwed things up though and we didn't have a room, so about 20-30 of us went to Japanic, losing the other 40 or so on the way. I got talking to some pretty cool people, and we watched Full Metal Panic, which is now on my must-see list, and The CowBoy Bebop movie, which I didn't really like.

Oh, I have had news about my Endoscopy. It's the 1st of November at Leeds General Infirmary, at 5.30pm. I am really not looking forward to it, and I'm actually a little scared. First of all, on the day, I can't eat or drink past 11am. I have to sign a consent form, and so does my escort. Because I will be sedated during the procedure, I have to have a friend or family member escort me to the hospital, back from the hospital and stay with me for the full 24 hours until the sedation fully wears off. They are going to put a tube down my throat, about the size of my little finger, and apparantly afterwards I will have a sore throat for a few days. They are going to look and see what they can see in my stomach and they are going to take samples of my stomach lining. It warns that the procedure may also cause damage to dental work. I swear to god, after three years of braces...if they do anything bad to my teeth I shall personally maim them!

Amid all this, Japanese class, yes. I really need to get over my nervousness. I always know the answer to all the sensei's questions...until it comes to my turn to stand up and speak to the class. I just notice all these eyes on me, all these students who obviously know more than me, and I freeze and forget everything. When I forget I just do a stupid giggle and think afterwards "God Christie, why did you do that? You are such a PLEB!" There is just so much work as well, so much vocab to learn. My housemates are in the second year and they are out every other night, and granted, they are doing french so it's not a language from scratch, but I look at them and wonder how they manage it.

English is going okay I think though, we'll see when it comes to essay time.

Oh...I got a pink DS today, Shaun swapped it for my silver DS. So we now have two copies of Nintendogs so I have lots of doggies! And I got a toy dog with the DS because it was pre-ordered, so he is now on my shelf. It would be a good day if it wasn't for the fact that I have freshers flu.

Tomorrow is Shaun's 21st Birthday.

LIST OF THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DONE:



BY TOMORROW:

1. Sort out and organise my timetables
2. Tidy, clean and Hoover my room
3. Check my bank balance
4. Return Library Books
5. Read The Tale of Genji
6. Read through Turn of The Screw making summaries of each chapter, looking for themes and selective use of language.
7. Read Henry James's Essay The Art of Fiction
8. Read most of Great Expectations
9. Make notes on the ideas from last weeks lecture

BY MONDAY:

1. Buy books/find in the Library for my development elective.
2. Learn the vocab for Mina no Nihongo lesson 1-4, approx 50 words
3. Practice Japanese sentences
4. Practice foreign pronounciation symbols for Japanese
5. Read Katie Willis's book "Theories of Development"
6. Look up The Marshall Plan and Print out Development notes.
7. Look through the other development book
8. Watch "The Others"
9. Look up and make notes on the English literary crises of the 19th century
10. Read Barthes "Death of an Author"
11. Read Wimsatt Beardsley's "The Intentional Fallacy"

BY NEXT WEDNESDAY:


1. Buy beginners Kanji books.
2. Learn Kanji, including Japanese pronouncation.


ONGOING, OR HAS TO BE DONE IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS:

1. Read Endo's "Silence".
2. Read "Kokoro"
3. Read "Geisha"
4. Read and make notes on Japanese Culture

A BRIEF OVERVIEW ON JAPANESE HISTORY 1700-1895
based on my notes on "Inventing Japan" by Ian Buruma

After Japan was "closed" to the Western World in the 17th century it is assumed that Japan itself had no knowledge or contact with the West at all. Ian Buruma argues that this is not the case because in Japan at the time there were the "RangaKusha" who were students of Dutch learning. From the 17th century students and some merchants in Nagasaki and Edo (Tokyo) learnt how to read Dutch without the help of dictionaries and grammers, and physicians studied Western Medicine.

Once a year Dutch merchants were summoned to Edo, where the Shogun would ask them questions and ask them to perform for him, a bit like a novelty! In 1720 the ban of Western books was relaxed slightly as well because the shogun Tokugawa Yoshimuno was interested in the Western Calander. Under his instruction, the authorities at the time tended to believe that things could be learnt from Western science, but foreign thinking should be kept away from politics and the common minds. This was backed up by the ideology of Tokugawa Bakufu who believed in neo-Confucianism, stressing the importance of national order and absolute obedience to authority.

The Japanese had borrowed a Chinese concept of statecraft based on cosmic principles: the natural order of human society follows the natural order of the cosmos and a rulers role is to makes sure that they remain in harmony. This meant that Dutch learning became very unpopular with the authorities because if principles of nature can be analysed through reason and cosmology disproved through science - isn't this a challenge to the authorities political legitimacy as well?

The Japanese, although fearing of Christianity as a disruption to church and state, borrowed some general principles. Aizawa Seishisai wrote a "new thesis" in 1825 which argued that although christianity was evil, it made European subjects naturally obediant to their rulers. "Belief in one God created unity". This thesis caused ripples among the Japanese authorities and soon after Shinto began to be promoted as a national faith, with the Sun Goddess (Aramasu?) worshipped like the Christian God. The merge of the church and the state helped found Japanese nationalism later on.

The Japanese borrowed another Western idea, Buruma argues - that of colonialism. There was a philosopher at the time called Honda Toshiaki who used Britain as an example, saying that without a colonial empire a small island nation could not achieve greatness. Honda's ideas became popular in the 1920's with the rise of nationalism.

Japan was "Opened Back up Again" at a critical period of political unrest. Some Japanese welcomed the West and started arguing that to progress Japan needed to imitate the west to achieve success. Others were violently loyal to the old way of life. There was even a civil war in 1868-1869 between the bakafu loyalists and the imperial armies. The Western way of doing things was soon implented in the capital, now renamed Tokyo. On February 11th, 1889, the anniversary of the date when Japans first emperor founded the imperial line, Japan got it's first constitution. Japanese democracy was based on German guidelines, being similar developing nations. Japan's industrial revolution ended up only being a couple of years after Germany's.

Japan suppressed a lot of it's own culture in a bid to be more westernised and encourage more visitors from the west. They started promoting Kabuki theatre as a cultural past-time, rather than Noh, which was seen as "too Japanese". They started putting on their own adaptations of western theatre (a favourite was Hamlet). They started eating meat, like pork and beef (a big no-no if you are Buddhist) and they prohibited public nudity. A good example of westernisation is that famous failure of the Rokumeikan (Deer Cry pavilion) of 1885. It was built by Inoue Kaoru, who was the foreign minister at the time. He hoped that Westernisation would make foreign powers see Japan as an equal and relinquish the unfair treaties that they were forcing upon the country. A university was also built for Western thinking (Keio university).

A Little About the Geography of Japan

The most Southern Islands of Japan are called the RyuKyu islands. Japan is made up of hundreds of islands, and this obviously is a consideration when thinking about cultural and national identity. Even now there are still disputes over Islands near Japan, dating back to World War II, the most notable example being the disputes over islands near Hokkaido between Japan and Russia.

There are 43 Ken (Ken being the equivilent of a British county) , 2 Fu - Osaka and Kyoto (fu meaning places of great importance, I'd presume this is a cultural title), 1 to - Tokyo (which is the capital of Japan obviously) and 1 do, which is Hokkaido. I don't know what Do means, but it might just be a special title, seeing as Japan seems to see Hokkaido as being off on it's own anyway (ref: history of Japan).

The currents of Japan are:

1. Kuroshio: meaning black current, apparantly it's black because of the plankton that are carried by it, swooping up from the south. The plankton means that the coastlines down south are very fruitful for fish and suchlike. The current is also a warm current.

2. Oyashio - This is the Northern Current (literal translation meaning parent current). It is a cold current.

Where the two currents meet there are repurcussions of the climate. An example is that this geographical area usually gets earlier snow than the rest of the country.

Japan is on the tip of three tetonic plates, which makes it very prone to earthquakes, especially in the Kanto region where they occur roughly every 70 years. The last big earthquake was in Tokyo in 1923 and it pretty much devasted the capital, and the national economy at the time.
This means there is a big earthquake overdue in that region!

Japan also has a lot of volcanoes, most of them caldera volcanoes. The most famous Japanese volcano is of course Mount Fuji. 80% of Japan is mountainous as well so there is a geographical concentration of people towards the coastal regions and the plains. Japan is really split into two sections - East and West, seperated by the Japanese Alps. Kanto is East of the Japanese Alps and Kansai is West of the Alps. There is a general concentration more towards the Pacific sea, as opposed to the Japanese sea, facing China.

And of course there are the Typhoons, or Hurricanes...with some having visited the Kyushu area this summer...

I'm actually surprised my geography lesson didn't explain that a lot of Japanese cultural identity comes from the fact that because it is a series of islands, Japan as we know it didn't develop really until the 19th area. Places like Hokkaido developed their own values and cultures on their own and has only recently been considered a part of Japan. It was because Japan was an island that it was able to be "closed up" between the 15th century and 1853 when Perry came and forced Japan to "Open up".

Also, Japan has no natural resources at all, which has led to problems and explains a lot about Japans past. It is the number one importer of raw materials in the world, yet one of the biggest exporters of manuafactured goods. A lot of Japans territory disputes, and even partly their role in WWII can be explained by their desire to be a self-sufficient empire, and a need for commodities such as Iron and Steel.

Notes From Core and Script Classes

The Japanese always put verbs at the end of the sentence.
Desu is always the same regardless of context - is, am, are
Wa shows the topic of the sentence, therefore Watashi Wa shows that the sentence is about yourself.
Ka always indicates a question.
The negative form of desu is Jarimasen.
Mo means also or too, and moves the topic to another subject.
No means belonging to someone or something. Example: Kore wa Micheal-san no pen desu means there is Micheal's pen.
No-hito means person of (nationality)

Each symbol in Kanji has more than one meaning, depending on the context.
We use Nihon now to say Japan, rather than Nippon because Nippon has overtones of "The Great Nippon empire" hearkening back to WW2. It is seen as the more nationalistic way of saying Japan, and as there are negative connotations associated with that, the younger generation of Japanese say Nihon instead. However, in Japan occaisonally older men will call Japan Nippon.

Months of the year are numeral, with January being ichigatsu, february being nigatsu and so on.

I have to memorise the stroke order for all the Kanji I learn because if I do it in the wrong order, the symbol will look slightly different and wrong. This week I have to learn the Kanji for the months of the year, the numbers 1-10, the days of the week and the kanji for mountain and river.

Gatsu = month
Youbi = day of the week

VOCABULARY LIST FOR JAPANESE WEEK 2

Hajimemasho - Let's Start
Owarimasho - Let's Finish
Yasumimasyo - Let's have a break
Wakarimasuka - do you understand?
Hai, Wakarimasen - Yes, I do understand
Iie, Wakarimasen - No, I don't Understand
Moichido - One More Time
Moichido, onegaishimasu - One more time, please
Ke-koudesu - That's fine
Iidesu - Good
Chigaimasu - That's different/That's Wrong
Namae - Name
Shiken - Exam
Shukudai - Homework
Kotae - Answer
Rei - Example
Moichido, Ittekudasai - Could you say it again please?
Sitsumonga Arimasu - I have a question
.... te nan desu ka - what is ...?
... wa nihongo de nan desu ka - what is ... in Japanese?
anata - you
anohito - That person, he, she
Minasan - Everybody
San - Mr, Mrs
Chan - Used as a term of affection, usually for girls, also for small children and when you want
to be patronising to someone
Kun - Used for boys the same age as you, or up to the age of about 18 if you know them well
Sensei - Teacher/Instructor
Gakusei - Student
Kaishain - Company employee
Ginkouin - Bank Employee
Isha - Doctor
Kenkyuusha - Researcher/scholar
Enjinia - Engineer
Daigaku - University
Byouin - Hospital
Denki - Light/Electricity
Dare - Who
-sai - ....years old
nansai - how old?
shitsurei desu ka - Excuse me, but...
kochirawa .....-san desu - this is Mr/Mrs....
..... kara samashite - I come from....
Amerika - America
Igirisu - UK
Indo -India
Indoneshia - Indonesia
Kankoku - South Korea
Tai - Thailand
Chuugoku - China
Doitsu - Germany
Nihon - Japan
Furansu - France
Burajiru - Brazil

Kore - This
Sore - that (thing near you)
Are - that (thing over there)
Kono - This here
Sono - That near you
Ano - That over there

Hon - Book
Jisho - Dictionary
Za-shi - magazine
Shinbun - Newspaper
Noto - Notebook
Techou - Pocket notebook
Kado - Card
Terehonka-do - telephone card
Enpitsu - Pencil
bo-rupen - ballpoint pen
kagi - key
tokei - clock/watch
kasa - umbrella
kaban - bag/briefcase
te-pureko-da : tape recorder
terebi : television
jidousha : car
tsukuu : desk
isu: chair
chokore-do-: chocolate
ko-hi : coffee
Eigo: English
Nihongo: Japanese
Nan: what
Sou: so
Sou desu ka : I see/Is that so?
Anou - Well (used to show hesitation)
Wonnokimochi desu: It's nothing/ It's a token of my gratitude
kochira koso yoroshiku: I'm pleased to meet you (response to dozo yoroshiku)


Of course, I need to know all these off by heart in Hiragana as well. I've actually found my Hiragana has come forward in leaps and bounds since I started reading words. However, my Katakana has suffered. I know most of them to write out, but a couple don't come to me straight away and I have to think about it.

Today was my first Japanese Practical and I so wish I had been prepared for it. I hadn't learnt my hiragana to a decent standard and the sensei asked me a couple of questions I couldn't answer. I felt so dumb, and I have spent the rest of the day revising.

I was so nervous with speaking aloud and I don't even know why, because I had learnt all the phrases months in advance, but I guess it's because it's different practising in the comfort of your bedroom, on your own and then having to pronounce a foreign word in front of a class of about 20 people.

The lesson started with the Sensei teaching us the greetings for the different times of day, using these little flash cards. I had more of a problem working out what the cards were representing rather than remembering the actual words! Then we had to go round and greet each other. The lesson was actually quite fun, until we got to the bit where I was obviously supposed to have learnt Hiragana already. We had to identify the Hiragana on the flash card and I just couldn't remember many at all. And then we had to practice our "R's" which are pronounced somewhere between an "r" and an "l", but the sensei seemed quite happy with us just saying the "l" sound.

I left the class feeling like a bit of a tool and I have revised ever since. I got 96% on my last hiragana test though, so I must be getting better.

Here are the phrases we learnt today (I would type them up in Hiragana, only I don't have a clue how to on this thing):
Ohayo - Good morning (informal)
Ohayo Gozaimasu - Good morning (polite)
Konnichiwa - Good afternoon
Konbanwa - Good evening
Sayonara - Goodbye
Oyasuminasai - Good night
Arigato - Thankyou (informal)
Arigato Gozaimasu - Thankyou (polite)
Sumimasen - Excuse me/sorry
Lie - no, not at all
Ittekimasu - I'll go and come back
Itterasshai - Please go and come back
Tadaima - I'm home
Okaerinasai - Welcome home
Itadakimasu - Thankyou for the meal (before eating)
Gochisoosama - Thankyou for the meal (after eating)
Hajime Mashite - How do you do?
Dozo Yoroshiku - Nice to meet you

I've just realised that I haven't written about the Japan society Social last night. I wasn't really impressed to be honest. It felt a bit like some kind of singles night, for Otaku to blatently hit on poor Japanese exchange students. Apparantly it got better later on, but we left early.

We got talking to a couple of Japanese girls though, mainly thanks to Mike, who was in his element. The first two were called Hana and Kyoko, and they were exchange students from Fukuoka and Kobe. They were really cute, and I couldn't believe they were 22, they were really petite and looked about 16. They giggled at us when we looked shocked at their ages. Japanese girls seem to giggle a lot, and they say "ri-ri?" (really?) to nearly everything, I'm presuming that's a replacement for "ah, so desu ka". Mike was speaking to them really slowly and was using hand gestures, and Marisa and I were just cringing the whole time, because it was obvious the Japanese girls could understand a lot more than they could speak and when I spoke normally to them they replied as if they understood every word I said. They were quite indulgent with him though, and obvious found him cute, especially when he tried to speak to them in Japanese.

We started talking to them about anime and Hana just laughed and said, "oh anime - not popular with Japanese girls where I'm from...popular with, the word? Otaku? You know the word?"
That comes as a bit of a surprise.

Got talking to another keen liguist as well who was telling me about the different dialects of Japan and how she finds the english language fascinating because we have "accents" while they don't have that in Japan. She had been learning English since she was four, so she was pretty much fluent, but expressed worries about her own abilities because she could understand my "london" accent, but found it hard understanding the yorkshire accent that you find in Leeds. I reassured her that some english people have a problem understanding the Yorkshire accent!

Oh, and food in Japanic is hideous...i mean for christs sake, warm tomato and cucumber tempura? The batter was even undercooked. Still I'm spoilt, having been a few times to Little Tokyo, with the manna from heaven that goes under the name of "set meal Bento Box".

In other news, today I went to the gym and managed to run on the running machine for ten whole minutes, which I have never done before. My ankles now ache though. The diet started again today too, so I'm sitting here feeling half-starved. I'm trying to justify the extra 200 calories and have muffin with houmous...mmmmm. Today for breakfast I had a muffin with light philadelphia and a passion fruit and mango smoothie, lunch was a hoisin duck wrap, yoghurt with fruit and oats, and a diet coke. Dinner was Chicken, new potatoes and mixed veg.

Yesterday I got my completed timetable, and it is pretty full, and weighted more on the Japanese side of my course. I have one hour a week on S E Asia Studies, 3 hours a week on English Literature, 8 hours of Japanese Language instruction and 1 hour of Japanese Culture. They are scattered all over the day, so god knows where I will be able to fit a job in. I'm not planning to work anyway until I've had my Endoscopy and the doctor knows whether I'm going to get better any time soon. At the moment I don't think I could cope with work as well, despite me taking the stronger medication my gullet is starting to get really acidy again and I'm just so tired.

Yesterday we had our first Japanese Grammer class. I now know that I have to learn Hiragana and Katakana fluently for next week, I'm pretty much up to speed with Katakana but I have to practise writing it, and I have to completely learn Hiragana. We start learning Kanji next week, by the end of the year we will have learnt 500 kanji, and by the end of the degree we will be fluent in commonly used Kanji.

Sensei Weste started the lecture by explaining the origins of the Japanese script. The Japanese Kanji is stolen chinese characters. There are 3 different parts to the Japanese script - Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. Katakana and Hiragana are phonetic scripts; Kanji can represent a concept or a concrete meaning. Kanji literally means "letters of the chinese people". Natural things are usually pictograms, and are easy to work out. For example, the kanji for tree actually looks like a tree, two tree symbols means wood, and 3 trees means forest.

Some of them though get very detailed, for example the Kanji for danger...

Each character has a number of different parts. Each Kanji has a different radical, which indicates the catagory/meaning of the word. I presume you use these radicals to look up Kanji in a Kanji dictionary.

The difficult bit is that each character can have 3 or 4 different meanings. There are also two different ways to read a Kanji - the On-Yoni, which is the Chinese reading meaning, or the Kun-Yuni, the Japanese reading meaning. Another problem is that there is a different syllable structure for Japanese and Chinese, which means that if you can read in one language, you can't necessarily pronounce it in the other.

The Japanese took Chinese pronouncations from all over China. They did this sporadically over a period of hundreds of years and from different regions of China. They then twisted the pronouncations to suit themselves.

Other notes on Japanese language:
* Character compound = more than one character stuck together to make a word
* Kanji = meaning of things/words
* Katakana = Foreign Loan Words
* Hiragana = Indicates grammatical functions
*You have to add Hiragana at the end to emphasise Grammatical points. The Hiragana is what changes, not the Kanji.

Carrying on with today's news, I had my lunch with Shaun (I was very good - Chicken salad with cesar style dressing, greek style yoghurt with blackberries, innocent Blackberry and Gooseberry Smoothie) and then I had to rush back to uni for my Gym induction. The University Gym has pretty up to date equipment, but a lack of decent conditioning machines. The only ones I could find had an "out of order" sign on them. All this walking places must have done some good though, because I can never run on treadmills and today I ran for 5 minutes! I felt like I was going to die afterwards mind you, but that's not the point, it's a good start!

After the Gym I went to Varsity and ordered myself a hot chocolate and started reading the introduction to The Tale of Genji. Then this man came over, leaving his wife sitting on her own at a table to more or less tell me his life story! He was saying how his son went to uni, ran up loads of debt, then came out and the whole family shunned his son. Then the sons grandad died, and he lost his job all in the same month, and then he had a nervous breakdown and was found travelling up and down on the train because he "couldn't find his way to Leeds".Then the son was sectioned and now the dad has to pay off the sons debts because he is mentally ill. I was like "ooooookay...why are you telling me this?"

I met up with Shaun after work and we went to see Grave of The Fireflies at Vue cinema, in Leeds City Centre. It was being hosted by The Leeds Film Quater, which is an independant inititive, and while I was getting my ticket issued I got talking to one of their volunteers, who worked as a teacher last year in Japan. He told me that the Japanese local governments often advertise externally for English teachers, and that I won't just need to rely on the JET programme to get teaching experience in Japan when I graduate. He warned me that I will have to be very open-minded while I'm out there to appreciate everything.

They just put on the DVD on the projector screen and for ages the guy couldn't work out how to get it in Japanese with English Subtitles. He kept putting it on in English with English subtitles!

*Spoilers ahead -don't read if you haven't seen the film*

Once the film got going I soon forgot it was just a DVD projected rather dodgily on the big screen, not even the dubious colour contrasting bothered me. The actual animation is amazing, so realistic and detailed. I got lost in it, and soon forgot that I was watching a cartoon movie. The fact that it was animated eventually added to the horror that I felt while watching it. Quite honestly, it's a film I'm not sure I can bring myself to watch again. And I watch a lot of dodgy things. Some parts of it physically made me feel sick to the stomach, starting with the rather hideous close-up of Seita's mother, bloody and wrapped up in bandages. Slightly later on in the film, you see her dying, her bloody limbs covered in maggots and flies.

Some of the movie was educational. For instance, it was interesting to see the war from the point of view of the Japanese youth living through it. I watched with horror after a scene where an enemy plane swooped low and opened fire on civilians. When I asked Shaun whether he thought these scenes were meant to invoke revulsion in me for American military practice he said no, that he was actually pleasantly surprised by the matter of fact tone, and the lack of blame for the tragedy unfolding on the screen. One scene I thought was notable, although not essential to the general storyline, was when Seita finds out at the bank that Japan has lost the war, and his attitude and sheer disbelief, even though in opening scenes adults clearly state that Japan will probably lose the war.

I was pleased at myself for noticing several "Japanese things" before they were explained by the dub, such as the making of Onigiri, identifying the pickled plums in the jar and noticing the sandals and tabi on Setsuko's feet. Shaun didn't know what these things were until it was pointed out.

I found the last half of the film very hard to watch from an emotional point of view. Setsuko was so realistically rendered, and I warmed to her character from the very beginning...she was just like a real little girl. That's why it was so hard for me to watch her die slowly from malnutrition, and in such detail...from the sores on her back, to her sucking on marbles thinking they were fruit drops in her fever. I started crying from when she started getting sick, and I just couldn't stop. I was shaking, and almost choking on my own tears, trying not to ruin the film for everyone else. I was such a state by the time the film finished, and Shaun had to lead me home. I don't think I've ever been in such a state over a film, barring Vanilla Sky a year ago. I'm so silly sometimes.

I was still really sad so Shaun and I walked home. It has been such a clear crisp night tonight, but there weren't very many stars out. I felt a little better by the time we got home, but decided to make rice Krispie cakes to cheer myself up anyway. Well that was a disaster, I can't even make Rice Krispie cakes! So we ate the mess out of the bowl, which was very bad indeed.

On Saturday night Mike, Shaun and I went at 11pm to watch Akira at The Hyde Park Picture House, a small independant cinema around the corner from my house. The turn-out was surprisingly good, mostly made up of the anime society that I've joined and a few older people. The cinema itself is beautiful and a perfect setting; the popcorn however was shite. The staff accidently put on Ghost in The Shell instead as well...the dubbing looked really camp. After five minutes they realised their mistake and put Akira on, and people clapped.

It was definately an all-new experience watching Akira on the big screen. The sound quality was amazing with the Dolby Surround Sound, and the audience was appreciative. When the film was silent, so was the audience, and at that crucial point there was that air of anticipation which added to the experience. Even though I actually own Akira: Special Edition on DVD (Geek Alert!) it was worth it paying the £4.50 to see it on the big screen. I do have a few criticisms though. I had forgotten how dodgy the dubbing was, and it kind of amused me how the voice actors would say certain words and phrases with mock Japanese accents and then the next minute have an American accent. I much prefer watching things with subtitles, even if I don't understand most of the Japanese, I like hearing the nuances and emotion behind the voices...American dubbing tends to fall rather flat (exceptions seeming to be when Disney does the voice acting). Another complaint was that having only seen the Directors Cut before I was not prepared for the sloppy cuts for cinematic release. It felt like times like the story had been chopped up rather clumsily...a lot of the explanatory scenes were cut out, which made some of the story seem like nonsense.

Mike wasn't impressed at all. He left the cinema shaking his head and going "What the...? That was crap and made no sense! Why'd you take me to that Christie?"

Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

Yesterday I read The Sound of Waves by Yukio Mishima. I really enjoyed the book. Although the setting was more than 50 years ago on a rural island in Japan, I could really empathise with the young characters. I loved the scene where Shinji wakes up by the fire and sees Hatsue undressed, and the discourse between them, and the guilt and hesitation afterwards. What touched me then was that world over, teenagers do have experiences in common...a passage in this book explored a situation that could have occured in a present-day teen drama, and chances are the teenagers would have felt precisely the same. At the same time, the tone of the book was somewhat nostalgic and innocent...every character, even the useless Yasuo is likeable and understandable. I'm not sure I learnt much from this book, apart from getting an insight into the lifestyle of a Japanese island community, reliant on fishermen and women divers.

Today I had my first Japanese Culture Lecture. It was a travesty! The Rooms were double-booked and we had to go to another lecture room, in a building ten minutes away, and by the time we got there, we had twenty minutes left. Sensei Weste quickly went over 2000 years of Japanese History in about 20 minutes. I think a lot of people were left confused but it was a quick brain exercise for me, I was so pleased that when he brought up some aspect of Japanese culture I automatically knew related info. Some of the things I'm interested in I'm going to have to research myself...I started following the discussions about postal reforms and the elections, and now I want to learn more about Japanese Politics and the political structure of Japan. Another thing I'm interested in is the idea of homeogenity in Japanese culture; or rather the absence of it. Other things to read up on are Japanese culture from the 9th Century onwards (the court life, and how chinese civilisation helped form a cultural identity in Southern Japan) and Japanese myth and legends. At the same time I have to start steaming ahead with my Japanese language, otherwise all this will be useless and I won't get to go to Japan next year!

Books I have to read:
1. Yukio Mishima - The Temple of The Golden Pavilion
2. Lian Hearn - Across the Nightingale Floor (I started reading this and then got distracted by
University)
3. Herbert P. Bix - Hirohito and the making of modern Japan (big thick intimidating book)
4. Murasaki Shikibu - The Tale of Genji Seidensticker edition (I've been wanting to read this
ever since I read The Tale of Murasaki by Liza Dalby)
5. H. Paul Varley - Japanese Culture (third edition)
6. D.P Martinez - The Worlds of Japanese Popular Culture: Gender, shifting Boundaries and
Global Cultures
7. Leith Morton - Modern Japanese Culture: The Insider View
8. Soseki Natsume - Kokoro
9. Liza Dalby - Geisha
10. Shusaku Endo - Silence

And I start my Japanese language classes for real tomorrow, and I have English and Introduction to Development in S E Asia Modules as well to read for *sigh*.

Speaking about my Development in S E Asia Module, I had my first lecture today. The lecturer seems very genial and laid-back; the course (10 credits) seems like it might be relatively easy, I can't tell yet whether it will be interesting or not. It won't focus on Japan or China at all obviously, but I thought it would be interesting to look at the human geography of the poorer developing areas near Japan, as a contrast. The lecturer said that we will be concentrating on Thailand, Singapore and the Phillipines. Today we just watched a slide show as an introduction to the geographical area.

This week has been so hectic, it's unbelievable. I'd forgotten from last year the sheer hell of being a fresher. For one, I had to queue for over two hours to get registered...two hours! Everyone on my course seems really nice though, and friendly, and the department is small.

The other night Tracy (Yuki!), Hikki, Sinead, a few others and I went over to Mike's in Bodington for a couple of drinks and a movie night. It was only 10 when we all arrived, but the bar closed 15 minutes after we arrived! I don't think the others were very impressed. We watched Battle Royale, which I brought over...Sinead really liked it, but I don't know about the others!

I have signed up to three societies: the anime society, The Japanese Society and The East Asian Research Society. I went to an Anime society social last night, and everyone is really nice, if a little intimidating. There are about 30 guys, and only about 3 girls. There was one cute guy, but he was like the spitting image of Matt W. Socials are looking like they will be every thursday at the University, and we will use the University budget to buy manga and anime . I'm joining all these societies because last year I did the going out thing, and this year I want to be serious about my course, but of course you can't just hole yourself up in your room! Also, I'm still not too well...and I already know from this week that my body just can't cope with going out. I'm so drained, just with doing the normal university stuff and the acid started coming back in my gullet. I feel like such an old woman sometimes, because everyone else is just so lively, while no matter how much sleep I have, I feel like I need more!

Now about lessons...for Japanese I have eight hours language study a week and one hour of Japanese culture. For English I have two compulsary lectures a week on reading prose and a couple of seminar classes. I also have a class once a week on the development of South-East Asia, so it's a pretty intensive workload for a university student. We had a Japanese introductory lecture today and the head of Japanese told us that unlike other degree programmes, the first year for Japanese isn't a doss. Even though the end of year exams are marked pass or fail, this is the year we learn the basic language structure and grammatical points. Apparantly, if you don't work hard this year, you will find subsequent years hard as they build upon the knowledge you have learnt in year 1.

All this should intimidate me, but it's all very exciting! I'm actually looking forward to the challenge.

Things I have to do this weekend:
1. Do my Hiragana/Katakana worksheet
2. Read the Japanese books I got out of the library
3. Do Katakana and Hiragana tests

Out to Fruity tonight, which is the University night for Cheese, pop and Indie. I'm going out with Marisa and Mike. I don't really feel up to it, being very tired, but I've already bought a ticket and I feel bad because I said I would go.

This shows the cut at the front best. Look how skinny my face has gone!

Me pulling my innocent face

Quite possibly the best photo of myself I have

Me laughing and looking like a dork!

These are just some new pictures of me and my haircut, which was courtesy of The Hair Cuttery in Headingly. You can't really see it but I have small blonde streaks underneath, to give my hair "texture". It's quite nice, but I might get more streaks done on top.

More news from our wonderful but disgusting house. The weather at the moment is warm, but humid, so it is a battle with all sorts of creepy crawlies. The slugs haven't come back since our last encounter, the Landlord put down Slug Pellets outside the front of our house. But, because of the warm weather we had maggots crawling out of our bins. Disgusting. I don't even know how we managed it! I think it is because we put a half eaten chicken carcass wrapped in a bin bag in the bin. It looked slightly bad to me, the chicken was a bit fatty and had like blood clots or tumourous lumps, so in the end we took off the good bits and put the rest straight in the bin. Fast forward a couple of days and the maggots had actually managed to crawl under the bin lid and were up and down the sides of the wheelie bin, amassing in force. Shaun was really squeamish, having never seen maggots before, but I knew what to do. I got the handy kitchen bleach and poured it all down the sides of the bin and the pavement, watching the little blighters writhe as their cells took a last breath. I felt slightly sadistic but satisfied at the same time as I watched their offensively white turgid bodies melt and become a gooey mass, and then nothing. Maggots - oh how I hate thee.

I didn't sleep all night saturday, and in the early hours of Sunday morning I wrapped up warm and went to Hyde Park to watch the sun rise. There was no-one around and it truly felt like I was the only person in the world. It was so quiet, you could hear the whistle of the wind whipping through the grass. I sat on a bench and watched as the sun come up behind the trees. At first all you could see was a red haze, silouhetting the trees, making them seem black and sinister. Then as the sun rose, the sky became golden and then blue. It was a beautiful sunrise. It's more the sounds of dawn that I love though, the first birdsong of the morning, shrill and alone. Then all of the birds seem to start at once, breaking raucously into the calm of the early morning. I love the squirrels and the rabbits that come out early morning as well. If it is only you around they come right up to you, they are so tame. I sat and watched this one squirrel for at least half an hour. I was obviously sitting on his bench because he kept running around it, and then stopping and staring at me. He did this a couple of times, then edged closer, stared at me for a few moments, and then moved away again. He did this a few more times, and then he actually got on the bench and was sitting right next to me, staring at me the whole time, eating his nut! When he got bored of it he actually dropped it in my lap, and dragged some takeaway chicken out of the bin, about the size of his own body, and started eating the coating off it.

A question: can grey squirrels and red squirrels breed together? Because this squirrel was grey, with red patches of fur, and slightly smaller than the average grey squirrel with tufty, rather than mouse-like ears.

University has started again now. It's freshers week this week, but I don't really feel like a Fresher this year. I'm only going to two events, Fruity this week (chart and cheese night at the Union) and Kerrang next thursday. It has been a bit hectic this week so far though, and we are only half way through!

I met Sorell, and he is absolutely amazing! He is just as anti-social and as intensely shy as I thought he would be!

Mike from my course is great, and the past couple of nights I have been out with him. Sunday night I went down to Bod Bar and had a drink (mine was a J20) with him and his housemates, who were all really nice. Then Monday night I was only going for a quiet drink with my housemates, as all the Freshers were going to the intro party, but Mike was stood up, so I invited him along too. We sat and watched the football with Jamie and Ant, and there were some really random conversations. We started talking about the movie Alive and I said I wouldn't have a problem with the survivors eating me if I was dead, and Jamie got all philosophical about it all!

Then Mike and I went to the Union so he could sell his ticket and we bumped into his housemates, so we went into town. We went into Sports Cafe, it was Traffic light night, so you had to wear a green, yellow or red sticker depending on your availability. There was one of those bucking bronco's in there, but this one was a penis. There was this really scuzzy girl, with the tightest pink dress imaginable, and she kept riding on it, and you could see EVERYTHING. Makes me wonder if some people just have no self-respect.

I tried shooting hoops in the basketball court, but completely embarrassed myself.

Then Mikes housemates went on to go clubbing, to Halo of all places (the clubbing home for the pretentious chavs with more money than sense) and Mike and I went to Varsity, which has just opened up opposite Yates, to meet up with Tracey (now christened Yuki) and Hikki (real name Tracey!) who are on our course. They had a few of their friends with them, and they were all really nice! We sat talking for a while, I mostly talked to Tracey about our love for world cinema because she is originally from Hong Kong and was recommending me some good films to watch. Hikki was just so so nice, and I felt bad, because I thought before I was going to meet her that I wouldn't like her.

Last night Shaun and I were meant to be going to the Starting Line gig, but I was upset about something, so we missed Anberlin and went to Varsity, where I was bad and had Brownie (but suffered later). We got in in time to see The Early November, who put on a good show as usual. They always sound better live than they do on CD, though one of their albums is really growing on me. Saw half of the Starting Line, but then my stomach started playing up and I was doubled up in pain (probably from my sin of Brownie) and Shaun had to take me home. I feel really bad, because I promised Rosie I would be at the club night after the gig, but there was no way I could stay out. But at least I got to see The Starting Line play Best of Me, which is one of Shaun's and my songs, and he put his arms around me as we sang along.

The rest of the night I sat in bed and sorted out stuff to do with my course at uni. More on that in a bit.

Things I have learnt this week: don't judge by first impressions alone. People who seem like they have nothing in common with you could be one of the nicest people you've met, and you could realise that on a fundamental level...the people you thought you had a lot in common with, you really don't at all.

I've now read the Makioka sisters. It seemed to me to be the longest book in the world, and took me over a week to read. I noticed while browsing the internet that it is often compared to Vikram Seth's "A suitable boy" which I read in one sitting and enjoyed. However, as someone who loves reading, I think I can safely say this is a book to be read for what you can learn from it, not really for enjoyment.

It follows the Makioka family over 4 years, between 1936 and 1940. The family is an upper-class osaka clan, whose fortunes have been better. At the beginning of the book you are informed of this, but you don't really get that impression until the very end, with Yukiko's successful Mai. The story follows from Mai to Mai, each time the family getting more and more desperate.

The characters in themselves are interesting. I myself, only had sympathy for Taeko, the thoroughly modern and badly behaved younger sister. I suspect it may be my youth, and a lack of empathy for the more traditional yukiko and Sachiko, but the rest of the characters were somewhat unlikeable! The championed Yukiko is a traditional Japanese heroine in the way that she is passive, but always seems to get what she wants, though in the end, even she has to comprimise with her choice of husband.

What is incredibly interesting about the book is its expansive turn of phrase, the passages are very long, and the paragraphs seem to go on forever! The tone of the book continues to surprise you because although the language can be very formal and flowery, every now and again there will be a blunt sentence describing a characters bout of diahorrea, lor a description of sexually transmitted diseases. This is very different compared to British literature at the time, which would never mention such intimate issues.

I also watched "Ran" by Akira Kurosugawa. Maybe I have not been in a cultural mood as of late but I didn't enjoy this film as much as I thought I would. I could see why it is revered by film students, the single frame shooting of the film was quite impressive for the subtle effect it had, and there were wide sweeping shots over battle scenes, and nature alike. Kurosugawa made much of the natural landscape by using these sweeping shots, and there would also be whole scenes that would set off the somber mood he was trying to portray, simply by filming clouds, or the wind moving through the plains. This film is probably his second most influential, the first of course being The Seven Samurai. It is based on Shakespeares King Lear and it is intriguing to the Japanese adaptation. The costumes and scenes are lavish, and the battle scenes are epic. I watched it and enjoyed it basically on an aesthetic level, to see replications of armour and military tactics. However, I don't usually choose to watch this type of film, and I think someone like Jamie (Jay's housemate) would probably enjoy it better.

I have now learnt 100% katakana and about 50% Hiragana. Why are the simple ones not sticking and the complicated ones are?

*Yawn* - It is way too early for me to be up, but things we do for our passions. Today I have to carry on drumming in that Katakana, I start Hiragana on Sunday. I'm currently getting 95% in my tests, so now its getting pretty boring.

In other other news we had a monsterous attack at 2am, Friday 9th September...it was horrorfying (sp?)...it was life-threatening...it was...attack of the small, slightly squishy army of slugs that decided to invade our kitchen. Slugs are really quite hideous, and there were so many of them when we came downstairs, ready to do battle. It was a long battle and we lost many good men...nah, I can't carry on with this, we poured salt all over the little buggers and they melted, as we watched. Slug guts are yellow, just thought you might like to know.

It looks like Shaun's college course has been cancelled, which of course isn't good, as it is too late for him to enroll on A-level courses, unless he's quick and takes whatevers left. He doesn't want to do that because he doesn't want to "take a chance", and says he will save for next year, just in case they put the course back on. So yet another year wasted for Shaun. In the meantime he is going to carry on with his soul-destroying job selling insurance.

I went to the doctors again, mainly for my prescription for drugs, but he did a checkup while I was there. Apparantly I cant take regular pain medication because of my stomach problem, so I have more prescriptions for pain medication. He put me on the scales and I'm now under 10 and a half stone, so that's only another 3/4's of a stone until my BMI is in the 22's/23's which will apparantly put less pressure on my gut and relieve some of the pain. My blood pressure and breathing capacity is actually more healthy than the average 19 year old apparantly. Guess that's what happens when you don't smoke and you can't drink. So I'm way more healthy than I was in December, but I have a long way to go yet.

I have now spoken to three people from my Japanese course - Marisa (who I've met in real life), Mike (who seems pretty cool and straightforward) and now Sorell.

This is a blog, not really of a personal nature, is more about me starting university life (again!) as an Undergraduate at The University of Leeds, doing an English/Japanese BA. In my second year I will be studying abroad, somewhere in Japan and I would like to have a blog that my friends and family can see. Until then, I will be chronicling the first year of my course; what I am studying, what university life is like, what problems I face and more than likely a few rants, as that is what I'm good at!

So, a few general things. I live in the Hyde Park area of Leeds (safe enough to put that, there's enough of us living here) in a 4 bedroom house with Shaun (20), my friend and former flatmate Rosie (19) and Rosie's friend Maura (19 - she's lovely, and we get on well). Shaun isn't at University, he works at a call centre selling insurance, and we will soon find out if he has been accepted on his IT college course. Maura and Rosie are in their second year of doing French at Leeds Uni.

Other notables that I may talk about: my friend Jay (20), he will be a first year in English along with me. He started last year as well,but the uni screwed up. Jamie (19) and Ant (19) - Jamie's doing Theology and doesn't drink but goes out quite a bit, Ant does something to do with Biology and drinks, but doesn't go out very much. Marisa (18) a girl I've recently met who will be a first year alongside me in Japanese, she's lovely and very hyper!

My family as well: my dad and my two brothers, David (17) and Thomas (13). They live down south, but hopefully will come up to visit this year.

That's it really. Now I'm going to paste over some of my entries about Japan that I've already written in another diary :D

This one is an actual update.

I have to learn both Hiragana and Katakana by the time I start my university course, as I have a test at the end of the first week. This took me quite by surprise, because the course is supposed to be taught from scratch, but I guess university courses are pretty intensive. I've been learning quite a bit of Romajii these past few months in preparation, but kind of left the writing because I took one look at it and was like "Argghh!"

I pulled a face as well when I bought my books for the Japanese side of the degree. There is quite a lot of books to buy, even just for the language side of it, and we haven't even been given the booklists for the culture modules yet. I'm doing English as well, and the COMPULSARY book list I have to buy just for the first term costs more than my bills probably do. My dad lent me £100 and it got approximately 4 books, that's not even a quarter of them. Never mind the fact that the list of optional "recommended" books is two-three pages long. So, two tips for studying Japanese at University level:
1. Make sure you: A) Have very understanding parents who want to pay for all your
books/lend you money
B) Save up money to buy the books before you go to uni, don't rely
on your student loan
C) Learn all your Kana before the end of the summer vacation
period!
D) Learn some basic Japanese phrases


Another thing to be prepared for is the fact that you will experience general ridicule for the degree course that you are doing. Whenever I tell anyone they start laughing or get a surprised look on their face. Sometimes it makes me wonder whether I'm doing the right thing in doing a degree with Japanese, because no-one apart from me seems to see the merit in it. I guess that's what the english part of my degree is for. One of my friends that is also doing Japanese has it harder though, she's actually getting abuse from her family!

I'm so proud of myself though. I have learnt Katakana in a week. I know some people can learn faster than that but I think that's pretty good. It's quite new to me to learn a new language I haven't done one since German at GCSE. At first I found it hard to get into learning, but soon I couldn't stop! I have the Katakana alphabet above my bed, on the wall by my desk and I was even contemplating making a hiragana and Katakana chart for the bathroom (I would have done if Shaun was my only housemate!). I also started playing a game called Slime Forest but then it started throwing random Kanji at me, and not giving me an explanation in Romaji. I made flash cards, and Shaun tests me on them every night.

anyway, now a list of good links:


www.peterpayne.net
Another blog on this site, he generally comments on interesting things from both Japan and US, both of which I find interesting being from the UK. I've read this blog for about 6 months now, and am intending to buy stuff from his shop J-list, which has so many things I want, for example the Kanji charts for my room, but I shall have to wait until my student loan comes in, so I can afford to pay for both the item and the shipping!

http://Japundit.com
This site is largely responsible for the many useless things I can bring up on a whim about Japan, with of course some commentry about the political situation as well. It's updated on a regular basis, in fact I visit it twice a day and still find things to read.

The School of East Asian Studies at Leeds University
Not really a useful Japanese link as such, but a site which tells you a little bit about my course, the department I'm in, and my year abroad options. There aren't many of us, especially on the Japanese course, which is very unpopular in the UK, I think there are 55 of us starting fresh this year, as opposed to the 300 most departments at the university get.

www.kanjistep.com
I cannot recommend this site enough. It shows you how to write all the Katakana and Hiragana, and gives you tips on writing Kanji, along with a lot of useful links. It also has a forum, which isn't very active but worth a browse, and a penpal section.

Japanese Learning Tools on The Web
I'm sure some of these will be useful, especially for more competant readers and writers of Japanese than myself.

Basic Katakana Flash Test
It's quite good for complete beginners who have only learnt the basic Katakana. It doesn't do any of the combination ones though, like Kyo, Pyu and Hya.

More advanced Katakana Flash Test
This one is a lot better, it's got all the combinations, and a hiragana quiz too. In fact the whole site is helpful.

Spirited Away - *warning spoilers*

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I've seen this film before, but only recently bought it. I was going to try and explain or write a mini-essay on the film, but I think Miyazaki says it a lot more succinctly than I could:

A word has power. In the world into which Chihiro has wandered, to say a word out of one’s mouth has a grave importance. At Yuya, which is ruled by Yubaba, if Chihiro says one word like “No” or “I wanna go home,” the witch would quickly throw Chihiro out. She would have no choice but to keep aimlessly wandering until she vanishes, or is changed into a chicken to keep laying eggs until she is eaten. In turn, if Chihiro says “I will work here,” even the witch cannot ignore her. Today, words are considered very lightly, as something like bubbles. It is just a reflection of reality being empty. It is still true that a word has power. It’s just that the world is filled with empty and powerless words.

The act of depriving (a person) of one’s name is not just changing how one (person) calls the other. It is a way to rule the other (person) completely. Sen becomes horrified when she realizes that she is losing the memory of her name, Chihiro. And every time she visits her parents at the pigsty, she becomes (more) accustomed to her parents as pigs. In the world of Yubaba, you should always live in the danger of being eaten up.

In this difficult world, Chihiro becomes lively. The sullen, listless character would have a surprisingly attractive expression in the end of the film. The essence of the world has not changed a bit. This film will persuade one of the fact that a word is one’s will, oneself, and one’s power.

What I found particularly interesting was that unlike a Western animated feature desgned for the same age group, there is no clear definition of good and evil. Each character has a "human" side, even the witch Yababa, with her love for her monsterous baby. Haku, the most helpful character to "Sen", is also Yababa's henchman, and stole a magic seal from Yababa's sister. No-face, the monster who offers people gold and then eats them up, also displays gratitude for Sen's kindness and says that he is lonely. The story ends with him finding a home weaving with Yababa's sister.

There seems also to be a main underlying commentry against modernism and pollution. Chihiro at the beginning is a sullen, listless girl, and thoroughly modern, wearing western style clothes. Is it a co-incidence then that when she becomes trapped in a more "traditional" world, populated with Shinto mysticism, old style buildings and traditions and dispensing of her western style clothes to work in the bathhouse, that that's when she starts learning more about herself? Also, one of "Sen's" first customers is first percieved as a Stink-ghost, but turns out to be a river spirit that is clogged up with pollution. One of the most powerful scenes shows Sen pulling out a bicycle from his side, which churns out more and more pollution until he becomes clean. Also, Haku finds out at the end that he is the Kohaku river, which has been filled up to make way for building work, and that's why he has found himself without a home.

Another interesting point to note is a modern moral on greed and taking more than what belongs to you. Characters are punished when their acts are selfish and show disregard for others. The first instance is when Chihiro's parents are turned into pigs - Chirohiro doesn't sample any of the food, and tells her parents that it is wrong to eat it, and they will get into trouble. Yababa later on taunts Chihiro with the fact that her parents were greedy and gobbled up all the food meant for the spirits without thinking about others. Chirohiro earns the monster No-Face's gratitude for her kindness in leaving a door open, and he doesn't eat her because she was the only one who helped him without expecting anything in return. Everyone else becomes greedy in serving him and fawns because he gives them gold, and in turn he eats them. It is symbolic that eventually the gold turns back to dirt. Haku steals Yababa's sister's magic, and is punished by becoming gravely sick. The only thing that can break the spell is love, an unselfish emotion, which is shown by Sen making the journey to Yababa's sister's to plead and apologise for him.

"Spirited away" the english title makes Chihiro the protagonist of the film, but the Japanese name literally means "The Spiriting away of Sen AND Chihiro" - indicating that Sen was there all along, inside her. So unlike a western-style film where the heroine simply grows up and takes responsibility, I think this indicates that Chihiro grew in the respect that she discovered another side of her that was previously hidden.

Feel free to comment on this if you'd like :D

mini essay about Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata

Monday, August 29, 2005

I have just finished reading Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata. It's on of the books on my reading list for next year in Japanese.

The book is amazing. It is totally unlike anything I would usually read (apart from being about Japan). The translator likens it to the style of a haiku, though I would go as far to say it is probably more like the modern day waka, in delivery and turn of phrase. Although I suspect much is lost in the translation, Eastern Asian literature seems to be a lot different to Western Literature. There is always a larger focus on nature and the elements, linking it to the behaviour and personal traits of the protagonists in the piece. While British literature more than anything relies on a strong narrative and the behaviour of the characters to set the pace and unfold what's to come - Post-war Japanese literature is a lot more subtle, weaving character emotion and a dramatic backdrop into a rich tapestry.

In Snow Country it is not an emotion expressed out loud, or an action packed scene. No, the whole story is told through what is not said, and what is left for the reader to speculate. The pivotal moment comes with a few lines uttered by the central character; Shimamura.
"You're a good girl" he says to the Geisha Komako. Then a few minutes later he unconsiously shifts to saying "You're a good woman". At the time he does not realised what he has let slip by these words, but Komako realises that their romance has come to an end, as she knew it would.

You know from the start that the romance is doomed. Komako utters this sentiment by the first chapter. What intrigues you is the way the wealthy drifter, cold in his outlook in life, and the passionate Giesha come together and then part. What struck me was that a lot of the book dealt with perception and reality. Shimamura is first attracted to Komako when she is not even a Geisha, just "filling in". To him she seems unusually novel and pure. This is shown by his observations about her cleanliness and his decision that she is just an ameteur, despite her statements and behaviour proving otherwise. He is cold, likening his familarity to her as a cleansing tool as effective as visiting the mountains. He makes promises to visit her, but only comes back once a year. Each year he detachedly notes that she is "losing herself" without a thought of improving her situation, yet fooling himself that he has some form of feeling for the girl.

Her novelty starts wearing off as he discovers that she has sold herself into Geisha-hood. It is obvious that he found her more alluring as a simple girl with the benefit of Geisha customs and grace. The obviousness of her city makeup, and the act of covering up the snow-burnt skin underneath, makes her less pure. The obvious example (though I am loath to use a christian reference for a book in which Christian culture plays no part) is Eve covering up her nakedness with leaves. He becomes less enamoured with her obvious adoration for him, and the fact that she visits him every night.

The novel seems a sad one, with obvious sympathy for Komako, who gives herself to Shimamura unreservedly, despite the effect it may have on her reputation. However Komako, was never the dreamer, she knows full well her fate is to "go pleasantly to seed in the mountains" and is prepared to accept her fate and take what she can from life. No, it is Shimamura who our sympathy must be reserved for, as he lives in a world of dreams and can never commit to what life truly holds. The description of his love for dance explains this clearly. He loved Japanese dance, but the moment it became within his grasp to understand and become a true patron of the art, he abandoned it for the new and fresh occidental ballet, even though he would never see a performance and could only admire it distantly from books. This is also shown by his new obsession with Yoko, a girl with an undefined relationship to Komako. Innocent, pure, slightly mad and mysterious, she fits the purpose that Komako can no longer fufill. By the end of the book both Shimamura and Komako realise that neither Komako or Yoko can bring Shimamura back from his clinical indifference and that it is time for him to leave.

What did I learn about Japan from this book? Well it certainly painted a clear picture of Japans west coast and villages in the post-war era. Most books on Geisha deal with the city Geisha's, who were artists and entertainers. At the Hot Springs there is a fine line between a Geisha and a prostitute. I think I got more of an insight into the life lived by a hotsprings Geisha, and the futility of it. What I think I learnt more however, was the general layout and style of a tradional Japanese novel.

Feel free to correct any of my theories on the book if you have read it yourself. If you haven't I would urge you seek it out because I thought the book was beautiful. I would like to hear other peoples interpretations of it.

AUGUST 25TH 05

Thomas and I went book shopping for my course books. I already have most of my english ones, having bought them off Amazon. But I got my list through for my Japanese course and the books are so expensive because they have to be imported directly from Japan or America, as there is no European distributer. The translation book I have talks a lot about being American. I had to buy 5 textbooks, each one costing about £22. I worked out how much they would have cost in Japan and they would have been about £5.50 each. How frustrating. It is impossible to buy study materials for Japanese as well, you see all these cool study aids that you can buy in America but the shipping costs a bomb. Like specially lined work books to help you get used to writing kana and kanji.

I've looked through my textbooks. Apparantly I have to read through to page 6 in my honsatsu, but it is all written in hirigana, and considering that my degree is supposed to start on the basis that you have no previous knowledge of japanese, i'm getting confused. I could learn the hiragana alphabet in the 5 weeks before uni, but the words would still make no sense to me. My knowledge of japanese is limited to spoken, and romaji, I can understand some sentences and piece some of them together...but I have no experience of the script at all.

Along with the language books I have been given some novels and general books on Japans geography and culture. I've read most of the introductory non-fiction texts over the past year, mostly by mistake in my enthusiasm...but it's a relief because the list of books to read is about 25 items long. I've read the likes of Memoirs of a Geisha and so on as well, but I bought the fiction books that I haven't read, and I'm going to read Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto again.
The books I bought yesterday are:
Silence by Shusaku Endo.
The Makioka sisters by Junchiro Tanizaki
Geisha by Liza Dalby
Snow country by Yasunari Kawabata

I've wanted to read Geisha for a long time, but I think I might leave it till last, because it is more factual and written in a modern style, unlike most of the others. Silence was published in 1969, and seems to follow the story of a seventeenth century portugese priest in Japan. Makioka Sisters was written in 1948 and follows a Japanese Upper-middle class family before WWII in their efforts to marry off one of their daughters. Snow Country looks the most interesting (and the shortest) and it's author won a Nobel prize for literature. It's about the doomed romance between a businessman and a Geisha. None of these books are really the sort of thing I usually read, but it's always good to broaden your horizons, and the more I immerse myself in Japanese language and culture the more enjoyable and easy I will find my degree, I reckon.